This still is from a Comedy feature I filmed in 2020. The character I played was a loud-mouth jerk and a lot of improvisation was required during the process of completing the film. This still is taken just as I am about to deliver the one sincere moment of the entire production. I am in front of a room filled with background performers, my fellow principal cast mates, and the crew (some of whom I respect so much I can't fully explain). And there I am, standing alone in a spotlight. Alone in a crowded room. We've all been there, we've all felt that desperation. Even as children, when separated from our parent in the grocery store with plenty of strangers and grocery employees around and knowing we couldn't be far from our guardian, we panic, lost and alone.
Here is the coolest thing about that panic, that feeling, however irrational... it can remind us that we are human. That same crew I respect, my fellow cast mates and those background actors were all there and they were all rooting for me to do well. They all wanted to be a part of a great finished product, they wanted to be a part of a film they could be proud of. Remembering that and breathing helped me immensely during this process. The DP, Chuck France (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe68YLK0TwiZW5-0PwlY6Uw), took a second and showed me how beautiful the shot was and gave me a vote of confidence. When you feel alone, reach out to the positive people in your life and communicate with them. On this particular production, there was a shadow lurking. An individual in a position of power relished the opportunities to make others look foolish. This individual is simply a bully, a bully gifted at diminishing self-confidence and using their position to the disadvantage of others around them in order to appear to be more powerful than they actually are, but a bully none-the-less. If it hadn't been for Chuck and some of my other friends and family that day I wouldn't have made it through that set up and that shot. The Bully would have won. You are never alone. There are always people on your side but you need to let someone know when you are feeling lost or panicked. Cut out the bullies in your life to the best of your ability and when you have no options to fully escape a bully in your life, make certain to protect your joy and your inner peace at all cost. Be strong enough to just walk away. Not to be mad, not to seek revenge, just to walk away. Protect your peace at all costs. And reach out. You are not ALONE!